Exit Plan

     

 

     I've been dreading this day for some time. It's my final day of access to the brain rewiring program I've been following the past four months, and participants are encouraged to post an Exit Statement on the Facebook group to encourage themselves and others. I know, it should feel like a sort of "graduation," and it does, but I've also come to depend on the daily encouragement from this wonderful group, so it's bittersweet (like any graduation). I've been thinking, though, of all the exits we take in life, and realizing that on the other side of every one of them is an Entrance into something usually even better. I know that is true for this particular one, and I'm begging my readers' indulgence while I include my LSR Exit Statement in this space. [NOTE: This is not an advertisement, there's no compensation for my comments. I paid for the program, yet I believe so much in it I would give away scholarships to several of my loved ones, if I had the means!]

      Seven years ago, I was doing it all: keeping house, shopping, cooking, going to church at every opportunity, leading Bible studies, teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, participating in a community Bible study, meeting friends for lunch, going out to dinner, entertaining friends and family in our home, traveling the world with my husband, walking three miles every day. Yes, it actually shocks me to write it all out! Like the drop of a shoe it all ended at once-- no need for the details-- it just ended. Thus began a journey of ER trips, rounds of assorted doctor visits, tests, tests, tests, bottles and bags of a plethora of supplements, and endless internet searches for a miracle cure for a mysterious illness.  Countless prayers were proffered, probably more than I will ever know. I had wanted to be healed for His glory, and yet I kept trying to figure out a cure for myself. Four months  ago, having nearly stopped eating (because I COULDN'T), I had decided to give up the search, and my prayers were mostly pleas for God to take me home. BUT GOD....!!! It was the total surrender He had been waiting for, I'm sure of it.

      It was a routine check-up, and I remember struggling to get slowly down the hallway hunched over my two walking sticks, looking and feeling like a ninety-year-old. When "Doc" came into the examining room smiling at me and asking "How are you today?" I'm not even sure I smiled back. I shrugged my shoulders and lifted both hands as if to say, "Who knows? Who cares?" He sat down in front of me and began telling me about a Christ- and Bible-based brain rewiring program that his wife had completed with near-miraculous results. (I had no idea she had had challenges similar to mine for some years, as well.) It "just so happened" they were giving a free on-line workshop that weekend, and when I got home I reluctantly pulled out my laptop and investigated. I decided, "Why not? What else do I have to do and what can I lose?"

      To make a long story short, the uplifting tone of the workshop, the love of Jesus that shone on its leader's face, and a phone call made the next Monday which included some clearly miraculous answers to prayer regarding the decision started me on my journey into the science of neuroplasticity and brain rewiring. [ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroplasticity ] Now, some specifics for my fellow-rewirers (and anyone else interested in my progress), here are my most obvious "wins" (improvements so far):

      1. After just one week in the program my perspective had shifted from hopeless to hopeful; depression lifted right away. I credit my new positive outlook to the focus on Scripture memorization and awareness of "OWLS" (Old Wired Loops), and with the quick and simple distraction tools we were given right away. Now my OWLS hardly ever "give a hoot," so I know relief from symptoms is on the way. In fact...

      2. Brain fog and EMF sensitivity: The first time through the videos and workbook took me six weeks. I was determined to re-watch all the videos before today, and time got away from me so that I didn't start until less than two weeks ago. This morning I finished re-watching-- 12 days after I started! Brooklyn mentioned in a recent "Live" that we'll notice our creativity returning. Since I started this blog in the midst of my sickness, I have struggled to produce one post a month, with the sure guidance of the Holy Spirit. Now at the end of my fourth month in the program, THIS IS MY THIRD POST IN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS-- all glory to God! I'm declaring victory over the Enemy's attacks of brain fog and EMF sensitivity!

      3. Self-care: Four months ago, I struggled to shower or bathe twice a week and brushed my teeth only at night. Now I brush my teeth morning and night, don't have to sit down to do it, and bathe usually 3 or 4 times a week. I'm enjoying getting dressed, fixing my hair, and putting on a little makeup when I go out, which is MUCH more often than before. (See #4)

      4. Social interaction and celebrations: There were so many years when I missed celebrations and family gatherings, sitting at home sick in my recliner. Last month my husband and I celebrated our anniversary in a fine restaurant. In the past month I have participated in a joyous Thanksgiving family gathering, a happy family birthday gathering, a family Christmas dinner in a restaurant; attended a performance of "Nutcracker" my granddaughter danced in; had lunch with girlfriends in a restaurant, and made plans to meet another girlfriend for coffee later this week!

      5. As I mentioned before I had virtually stopped eating any "real" food: with the exception of a few scattered days I lived on rice cakes and chicken noodle soup. For the past three days I have actually had an appetite and eaten three good meals, AND I've gained two pounds! (I lost 15.) 

      6. Pain: For years it was my near-constant companion, with sleep being my only escape. And sleep was often elusive. I dreaded getting out of bed; I dreaded having to get myself from my recliner to go to bed. Though sleep is still not regular, it is better and deeper. I no longer wake up and go to bed with heart racing-- EVER! And best of all, it is a RARE day I experience severe pain-- praise God!

      7. Exercise: Six-plus years ago, my husband had to help me in and out of bed and to the bathroom. Though I have inconsistently walked around my yard and down my driveway the past few years, at my low point (4 months ago) I was doing nothing and growing weaker by the day. I can now easily walk with walking sticks, by myself, 1000-1500 steps down our driveway, and I'm confident that will increase. 

      8. Spiritual Life: I saved the best for last, because it is the basis for all the other healing. Though I had continued to read my Bible and pray daily, I confess my reading was perfunctory rather than thoughtful, as were my prayers. In thinking I had to find the answers for my illness, I had ceased trusting God and begun trusting in my own intellect and ability. I had made an idol of myself and my mind. I would have been the first to tell you idolatry is a sin and I certainly knew the very first commandment was, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." I was living in my flesh, though, and my prayers, my thoughts, and my actions were focused on making my flesh feel better. When I let go of the necessity to "heal myself" through earthly means, then God could begin His ever-so-much-more effective work of healing my Spirit and then my body. I had actually done another brain-rewiring program several years ago. I knew that something was missing in it, and though it helped me in some small ways, it was not lasting, because it addressed only my mind, not my spirit, not including any prayer or Bible study. 

      Remember above when I mentioned the Entrances that inevitably follow most Exits? We all have many times in life when we have the choice to exit one place/thing/situation in order to enter into another. I'm writing this today because someone encouraged me to exit my mindset of illness and enter into a new and better life, aware of walking with Jesus by my side "in green pastures" as well as "through the valley of the shadow of death." (Psalm 23) I'm sure it's no accident that one of our first LSR memory verses was from Philippians 3:13-14:

"... forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  (KJV)

     And there's one Exit I can anticipate more than any other, because the Entrance plan was laid before the foundation of the earth. Thanks be to God for the assurance I have that my sins have been washed away, and I am made white as snow. I am now clothed in the righteousness of the Babe Who came in a humble manger in Bethlehem (Luke 2), lived a blameless life (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), then gave that perfect life on a bloody cross (Matthew 27, Mark 14-16, Luke 22-24, John 18-21), so that you and I might enter into the presence of God our Father, Creator of us all. From there, there will be no more exits!

      Praise Him with me: https://youtu.be/XnrhfeuB3Kw?si=pGTVocnhnaOvl7aF

    "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

Shining in Darkness

Photo: Bill Tippett

"The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.”

(Matthew 4:16 NIV)

      Have you noticed how much better you can see the lights in a night sky when it's really dark? Away from city lights, your own security lights, even the moon? I'll never forget how the night sky seemed close enough to touch when I was camping at the bottom of the Grand Canyon: I had no idea how many stars could be seen from Earth! And don't you love to turn out all the lights in your house and turn on the lights of your Christmas tree or light your Hanukkah candles? SO much more brilliant and warming! The photo above was taken by Bill some twenty years ago when geomagnetic storms were at a rare peak. Though we live in a rural area-- no streetlights or even other houses around us-- we do have a security light, which had to be turned off for the breathtaking sighting of this magnificent aurora borealis here in central North Carolina. (NOTE: We're entering another peak sunspot cycle, so keep an eye to the sky the upcoming months! You can receive alerts, in fact, from spaceweather.com.)

      This morning I awoke early in darkness, both literal and spiritual. I know you know what I mean: the Enemy seems to pounce on and magnify every dark thought, and any little (or big) adverse circumstance seems overwhelming. I knew my best antidotes, though, were right at hand, as I've been using them on a regular basis as of late. I cried out to God in prayer, turned to His Word, and then praised Him in joyous song. And soon His Light shone through my gloom and my tears turned into smiles. No circumstance had changed, but by focusing my thoughts on the Creator of Light, I began to see that Light in the darkness. Isn't it interesting that scientifically speaking, it is impossible for darkness to overcome light, but one tiny light can be seen in utter darkness?

 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  

(John 1:5 NIV)

      I highlighted security intentionally above, because I've been thinking a lot lately about the many times I've found my security somewhere other than God: a friend, the internet, and most of all my own strength or mind. If there's a lesson I've learned glaringly through my time of trials, it's that I am NOT sufficient in my own strength-- either of body or of mind. But I have come to understand, instead, I must depend solely on my all-sufficient Savior to guide me, to calm my fears, and most of all to love me unconditionally. Though this truth is all over His Word, it was thanks to several other fellow sojourners that I was pointed in the right direction. Thank heavens they were shining His Light! 

      Yesterday we celebrated my granddaughter's eighth birthday, and I decided the time was right to pass on to her a star sapphire necklace and earrings my parents had given me as a teen. When she opened the box, she saw the pretty blue stones, but could not see the stars until I put them directly under a lamp. I later thought, what a lesson I need to share with Adalyn: we can't possibly shine the Light of His Love on others until we ourselves are directly in His light! 

    And so, dear reader, in this Season of Light, at a time when darkness seems to overwhelm our world, will you join me in shining your light, no matter how seemingly small, by telling someone about the Light of the World? He is waiting to pierce the gloom that surrounds us, and His Light will never be overcome! But we must stay in direct line with Him, through prayer, through praise, and through His Word, in order to shine for Him!

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."”

(John 8:12 NIV)

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

NOTE: My top praise playlist:

               "I Speak Jesus" by Charity Gayle

               "Who You Say I Am" by Shane & Shane

               "Evidence" by Josh Baldwin

               "Psalm 34" by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir

               "Thou, O Lord" by the Brooklyn Tabernacle  

      

     

A Steak, Green Beans, and Mashed Potatoes

Enjoying the leftovers today at home!

   

   As the saying goes, "The third time's the charm!" Sweet Bill had made reservations three times for us to celebrate our 25th and 26th wedding anniversaries together. We hardly acknowledged the 25th last year, perhaps the most difficult year of my physical challenges, which of course impacted both of us greatly. Years before, I'm sure we had imagined some grand travel experience to mark the milestone, but thanks to Bible and Christ-centered brain rewiring, we had every hope of marking the occasion in some less grandiose, yet special way this year. 

      Bill made reservations at a nearby restaurant we had been wanting to try for at least 5 years. Our friends had been raving about the quality of the food, and it was only a half-hour from home-- perfect! The first two attempts, my body simply refused. Last night, the third try-- SUCCESS!!! I rested all day, stayed calm even though excited, and finally visualized the whole evening, from getting dressed, to driving to the quaint nearby town, to sitting down, ordering, and eating. Even though I still had no appetite, I pictured a mouthwatering meal of juicy steak, crispy sauteed green beans, and buttery mashed potatoes with bits of red skin and lumps, just the way I liked them. 

      I can't say I was without anxiety, as I felt a bit of internal pressure to enjoy this new experience. I even entertained a fleeting thought of canceling one more time, but I immediately rejected the idea with a favorite Bible verse and hymn (Philippians 4:13 and "Leaning On the Everlasting Arms"). As I bathed and dressed, and even curled my hair and dusted on a bit of makeup, I reminded myself that taking the first step, and then one after another, was all that was required to get me to my goal. 

      Departure time came, and I took a few calming breaths, got in the car shaky but smiling, and sang a praise song or two on the way. Many of the darling Victorians of Mount Pleasant were already adorned for Christmas with colorful twinkling lights, and I relaxed more and more the closer we got. On this foggy, damp night we found the perfect parking spot right outside the rear entrance, and I drew in another deep breath with a smile. Though I had brought my trusty walking sticks for security, on a whim and with my determined head held high, I emerged from the car and told Bill, "I'm walking in on your strong arm and I'll be fine!" And so it was. 

     We were seated in a beautiful room of gleaming wood, shining windows, and a stone fireplace, made all the more cheery by a lighted Christmas tree and some nostalgic decorations. Our server quickly brought us heavy leather menus, but I was in no hurry to open mine. I just kept smiling across the table at Bill, saying "We did it! We're really here, and it's perfect!" After relishing simply being in a new and interesting public place, of course I did soon open my menu, and it only took seconds for my eyes to fall on the top of the page, which read "Mt. Pleasant Sirloin." Across the page, as if lit with a beam from heaven, I read the list of "Sides:" sauteed green beans and mashed red skin potatoes were the first two! I nearly wept as I explained to Bill, almost breathless, about my visualization. And believe me, the reality of the food was delicious far beyond my imagining. I don't know how many times during our meal I repeated my declaration: I am happy and healthy, calm and strong, a beloved, RADIANT daughter of the King!"

     Needless to say, I beamed in competition with the Christmas lights the rest of the evening, and I'm still smiling this morning. Some call these "God winks;" others will say it's mere coincidence. I KNOW this meal was my God assuring me of the truth of my declaration, and this blog is my humble way of thanking Him, and hopefully encouraging someone else on this up and down, twisting, wonderful journey of life! 

"Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

(Psalm 37:4 KJV)

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

Afterglow

      It's the day after Thanksgiving, and I feel like the wisps of cloud in this photo, gleaming in the sunset afterglow. I arose this morning in the afterglow of a golden Thanksgiving Day celebration with beloved family. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines afterglow as "The light emitted after removal of a source of energy, especially." How perfectly apt for how I feel!

     Yesterday may have been a less-than-optimal day for me physically, but once settled into my favorite comfy chair at my son's home, here came my grandchildren pulling out card games to play on the ottoman in front of me. Who can say "No" to a grandchild's request? The first game was totally new to me, and my cognitively-challenged brain couldn't do much with the instructions, so I told them, "Let's just play and you can show me as we go." Well, this game involved not only following a pattern, it also required quick thinking AND quick handplay, so you can imagine the hilarity of a slow-moving and -thinking granny following two sets of young minds and hands who were quite familiar with the game and closer to the playing surface to boot! We all laughed so hard at my attempts to knock, point, or scratch in time that I think they finally felt sorry for me and slowed down so I could at least win one round! 

      Then it was on to Uno. I thought, I've been playing this most of my life-- no problem! HA! Who knew that Uno had switched from words to those silly symbols for "Reverse" and "Skip" AND added some new ones, too? I was lost again! And more hysterical laughter ensued. Finally there came a word and reasoning game, and yes, I did better, but I did have some help the first round from my fellow grandma humming "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" when she could see that my animal was "reindeer" and not just "deer."  (Thank you, Carol!) Tears were streaming down my face and my sides were hurting after all this fun, but I would pay a million dollars or more for the way my spirits soared. I was still smiling when I went to bed. THAT was "afterglow," and I hope someday I can share with my grandchildren what they give me every time we're together. Their energy indeed continues to light up my face with every memory.

      I'm reminded of Moses' encounter with God on Mount Sinai, when he received the Ten Commandments, and his face shone from being in the presence of God. In Luke's account of the Transfiguration (Luke 9:29), when Peter, James, and John went to a mountaintop with Jesus and He suddenly glowed before them with His divinity, notice that He had been praying, communing with His Father God, when this radiance came over Him. I have to wonder if my own encounters with God, my heavenly Father, cause me to glow with His presence?

      In my brain rewiring program, we are each required at the beginning to write and repeat at least once a day our own "Declaration"-- basically a statement of how we want to see ourselves as we are healed. Inspired by the instructor, who is truly radiant with her love of our Lord, I included in my Declaration that word, "RADIANT," in all caps. I know that I had come to a point where I had lost my radiance for my King, allowing it to be swallowed up by the Enemy in a pit of depression. But somehow, by His mercy and grace, and by immersing myself in His Word more deeply each day, I feel that glow returning. Now THAT'S something to be Thankful for!

      As Advent approaches, this season of light, and our houses and church houses begin to glisten with extra-special lights, won't you join me in seeking to shine ever more brightly in the afterglow of our Savior's radiance? Unlike the earth's sunset afterglow, though, the Source has never really left us, you know!

"Jesus spoke to them again: 'I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows me will never walk in the darkness but will have the light of life.'"  (John 8:12 CSB)

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

      

 

Vision of the Veil

      I lay on the floor broken in pieces, like the glass I dropped earlier that day in the kitchen, sharp edges threatening to hurt anyone who came near. I didn't even want to be put back together, but rather left alone simply to disappear in my misery. I know not how long I was there, but all at once I became aware of something covering me, light as a mist, almost imperceptible. I continued to lie there unmoving, but becoming more aware of my covering and of my body growing whole once again, as I began to feel my fingers and toes, then arms and legs, my heart beating and my chest rising and falling with each breath. In a few moments I rose up to sit, my legs to the side, and I realized the mist was actually a veil of the finest white fabric, perfectly encircling me, with a thin white border that seemed to separate me from the rest of my surroundings, almost as if protecting me. It was then I noticed, sitting in the chair to my right, a man in soft white robes. I knew Him at once to be Jesus my Savior, and so I crawled the short distance to lay my head gently on His knees as he softly caressed my hair, and I felt nothing but relief and comfort. I reveled in this feeling of love and peace until I lifted my head to gaze on His face, then became aware of the most brilliant white Light behind Him, blocking out all other objects that might have been in my field of vision. It no longer mattered where I was, or how long I was there. Time stopped, because I was wrapped in eternal, perfect Love of the Triune God: covered by the veil of the Holy Spirit, held in the arms of my Savior Jesus, and surrounded by the incomparable Light of a Holy God.

      Whether this was a dream or a waking vision I may never know. I only know that I will never forget it or the peace that it brought to my heart. I may never plumb the depths of its meaning, but there are several revelations I have received as I have pondered it. The veil I can only see as the Holy Spirit, whose covering has protected me ever since I accepted God's gift of salvation through His Son, Messiah Jesus. I continue to learn His assorted names and purposes, but I know that it is He Who seals me for redemption, thus the complete covering of the veil over my entire body. He is our Comforter and Healer, as it was under the veil that my broken body was made whole. My favorite name of all for the Holy Spirit is ruach, meaning "breath," and the veil was as light as a breath of air, without weight, yet surely there. In a Jewish wedding the chuppah (or huppah) has much symbolism, including the Tabernacle constructed in the wilderness by Moses and the children of Israel; for what? To house God's presence as He moved with them wherever He led them. Finally, the veil signifies us, the Church as the Bride of Christ, waiting to be perfectly joined with Him at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

 

"Then I heard the sound of massed choirs, the sound of mighty rapids, the sound of strong thunder: Hallelujah! The Master reigns, our God, the Sovereign-Strong! Let us celebrate, let us rejoice, let us give him the glory! The Marriage of the Lamb has come; his Wife has made herself ready. She was given a bridal gown of bright and shining linen. The linen is the righteousness of the saints. The Angel said to me, “Write this: ‘Blessed are those invited to the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.’” He added, “These are the true words of God!”  

(Revelation 19: 6-9 MSG)

      In my vision Jesus was the only person of God who was flesh, just as He was when He walked this earth. I felt pure love emanating from Him, and complete healing, as He gave to so many when He walked this earth. "But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings;" (Malachi 4:2 KJV)

      And over all, filling the whole scene with indescribable light, was my Abba Father, Who created us to be perfect and will once again restore us to live with Him forever. As Paul charged Timothy in his final instructions,

 "God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen."  (1 Timothy 6:15-16 NIV)

      Early this morning, I arose and went out on the deck to gaze at the starry sky. Though I know the universe is so immense that we haven't discovered its limits, over my head it felt like a nearly tangible dome covering the earth and sprinkled with sparkling lights that made me smile. I thought, "It's like God covering all of us, His creation, with His brilliant love, immeasurable beyond our wildest imaginings, not unlike the immeasurable love and protection of a groom covering his bride.

      And so, my friend, this is my prayer for you: 

 

"and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God's children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high His love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God Himself.

Now glory be to God, Who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of -- infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. May He be given glory forever and ever through endless ages because of His master plan of salvation for the Church through Jesus Christ." 

(Ephesians 3:18-21 TLB)

NOTE: Here is a beautiful song to accompany your meditation which I hope flows from your reading of this blog: https://youtu.be/-M4j6K5W9I0?si=CZB3SM0Hlc5qX9he

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

Sun Worshipping

     As the summer heat is at last waning, this morning I succumbed to the urge to sit in the sun a bit. I soon found my mind wandering back to my youth when I was a typical sun-worshipper.  Whether on a sandy beach or the splintery boards of our dock at the lake, I would carefully apply Coppertone to any exposed skin, checking the location of the glowing orb with a squint behind my sunglasses, then spread my towel at the perfect angle to capture the most direct rays. Today, as worship songs played on Pandora (Remember listening to your favorite AM station on the first transistor radios?), I turned my chair to the optimum angle and began thanking God for His amazing creation He gave us for our pleasure and His glory. I smiled at the twittering birds and breathed deeply of the gentle breeze whispering through leaves beginning to be tinged with a hint of autumn's yellow.

      I soon realized how far I've come in two short weeks of seeking healing in Him alone. During that time, I haven't read one medical article aimed at fixing my mysterious illness. Instead, I have focused on His healing words in the Word He has given us through the prophets and teachers of old, His original followers who were inspired to record enduring messages of soul-healing for all of us throughout history. In this short time I have found myself smiling like I used to, laughing more, crying seldom, and frowning in pain hardly at all. I no longer beg God on a daily (or sometimes hourly) basis to take me out of this world of pain and sorrow. Instead, I thank Him for sparing me to live more fully, to laugh again with friends and family, to raise my hands and my voice in worship for the One Who gave His life that I might live fully, eternally. 

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]." (John 10:10 AMP)

      You may wonder what is my secret. It's really no secret at all: thanks to His mercy and the prayers of countless loved ones and even strangers, I'm remembering to turn toward the Son, the Sun of my soul, the Source of all creation, including you and me! 

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]."  (2 Timothy 1:7 AMP)

      As the wonderful old hymn admonishes us:

"O worship the King, all glorious above,

And gratefully sing His wonderful love;

Our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days,

Pavilioned in splendor, and girded with praise!"  (Robert Grant, 1785-1838)

Perhaps we can learn a lesson from the sunflowers, which do this naturally! 

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

Rejoicing in Suffering

      It had been a difficult week, filled with pain, weakness, and naturally discouragement. I found myself smiling, though, when I saw the notification of a message from my Jamaican sister-friend. As we chatted on Whats-App that morning, dear Jeanne, a constant encourager, reminded me to rejoice in suffering. I confess this is a nearly daily struggle for me, even though I know it is biblical: 

"But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."  1 Peter 4:13 NIV  

      In the midst of our chat, my doctor sent me a text reminding me, "You can do all things through Yeshua who strengthens you!" (Philippians 4:13)

      I had to ponder these two ideas for some time as my day wore on. There came to mind  the familiar refrain, "They are weak but He is strong.... Yes, Jesus loves me!" Then I had to admit that when I am suffering the most, I more quickly seek the promised shelter of His wings, just like a tiny baby bird in its weakness shelters under the loving, gentle wing of its mother, and at times even allows itself to be carried on her back. 

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." (Psalm 91:4 NIV)

      Though I miss the days of being strong, serving Him, and helping others, when I am desperate to find a reason for this trial, I need to remind myself it has brought me to a place of total dependence on Him. Isn't that exactly where he wants us all? 

"Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 54:8-9 NKJV)

     And so, with Job, let me say, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him;" (Job 13:15a KJV)

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️