Exit Plan

     

 

     I've been dreading this day for some time. It's my final day of access to the brain rewiring program I've been following the past four months, and participants are encouraged to post an Exit Statement on the Facebook group to encourage themselves and others. I know, it should feel like a sort of "graduation," and it does, but I've also come to depend on the daily encouragement from this wonderful group, so it's bittersweet (like any graduation). I've been thinking, though, of all the exits we take in life, and realizing that on the other side of every one of them is an Entrance into something usually even better. I know that is true for this particular one, and I'm begging my readers' indulgence while I include my LSR Exit Statement in this space. [NOTE: This is not an advertisement, there's no compensation for my comments. I paid for the program, yet I believe so much in it I would give away scholarships to several of my loved ones, if I had the means!]

      Seven years ago, I was doing it all: keeping house, shopping, cooking, going to church at every opportunity, leading Bible studies, teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, participating in a community Bible study, meeting friends for lunch, going out to dinner, entertaining friends and family in our home, traveling the world with my husband, walking three miles every day. Yes, it actually shocks me to write it all out! Like the drop of a shoe it all ended at once-- no need for the details-- it just ended. Thus began a journey of ER trips, rounds of assorted doctor visits, tests, tests, tests, bottles and bags of a plethora of supplements, and endless internet searches for a miracle cure for a mysterious illness.  Countless prayers were proffered, probably more than I will ever know. I had wanted to be healed for His glory, and yet I kept trying to figure out a cure for myself. Four months  ago, having nearly stopped eating (because I COULDN'T), I had decided to give up the search, and my prayers were mostly pleas for God to take me home. BUT GOD....!!! It was the total surrender He had been waiting for, I'm sure of it.

      It was a routine check-up, and I remember struggling to get slowly down the hallway hunched over my two walking sticks, looking and feeling like a ninety-year-old. When "Doc" came into the examining room smiling at me and asking "How are you today?" I'm not even sure I smiled back. I shrugged my shoulders and lifted both hands as if to say, "Who knows? Who cares?" He sat down in front of me and began telling me about a Christ- and Bible-based brain rewiring program that his wife had completed with near-miraculous results. (I had no idea she had had challenges similar to mine for some years, as well.) It "just so happened" they were giving a free on-line workshop that weekend, and when I got home I reluctantly pulled out my laptop and investigated. I decided, "Why not? What else do I have to do and what can I lose?"

      To make a long story short, the uplifting tone of the workshop, the love of Jesus that shone on its leader's face, and a phone call made the next Monday which included some clearly miraculous answers to prayer regarding the decision started me on my journey into the science of neuroplasticity and brain rewiring. [ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroplasticity ] Now, some specifics for my fellow-rewirers (and anyone else interested in my progress), here are my most obvious "wins" (improvements so far):

      1. After just one week in the program my perspective had shifted from hopeless to hopeful; depression lifted right away. I credit my new positive outlook to the focus on Scripture memorization and awareness of "OWLS" (Old Wired Loops), and with the quick and simple distraction tools we were given right away. Now my OWLS hardly ever "give a hoot," so I know relief from symptoms is on the way. In fact...

      2. Brain fog and EMF sensitivity: The first time through the videos and workbook took me six weeks. I was determined to re-watch all the videos before today, and time got away from me so that I didn't start until less than two weeks ago. This morning I finished re-watching-- 12 days after I started! Brooklyn mentioned in a recent "Live" that we'll notice our creativity returning. Since I started this blog in the midst of my sickness, I have struggled to produce one post a month, with the sure guidance of the Holy Spirit. Now at the end of my fourth month in the program, THIS IS MY THIRD POST IN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS-- all glory to God! I'm declaring victory over the Enemy's attacks of brain fog and EMF sensitivity!

      3. Self-care: Four months ago, I struggled to shower or bathe twice a week and brushed my teeth only at night. Now I brush my teeth morning and night, don't have to sit down to do it, and bathe usually 3 or 4 times a week. I'm enjoying getting dressed, fixing my hair, and putting on a little makeup when I go out, which is MUCH more often than before. (See #4)

      4. Social interaction and celebrations: There were so many years when I missed celebrations and family gatherings, sitting at home sick in my recliner. Last month my husband and I celebrated our anniversary in a fine restaurant. In the past month I have participated in a joyous Thanksgiving family gathering, a happy family birthday gathering, a family Christmas dinner in a restaurant; attended a performance of "Nutcracker" my granddaughter danced in; had lunch with girlfriends in a restaurant, and made plans to meet another girlfriend for coffee later this week!

      5. As I mentioned before I had virtually stopped eating any "real" food: with the exception of a few scattered days I lived on rice cakes and chicken noodle soup. For the past three days I have actually had an appetite and eaten three good meals, AND I've gained two pounds! (I lost 15.) 

      6. Pain: For years it was my near-constant companion, with sleep being my only escape. And sleep was often elusive. I dreaded getting out of bed; I dreaded having to get myself from my recliner to go to bed. Though sleep is still not regular, it is better and deeper. I no longer wake up and go to bed with heart racing-- EVER! And best of all, it is a RARE day I experience severe pain-- praise God!

      7. Exercise: Six-plus years ago, my husband had to help me in and out of bed and to the bathroom. Though I have inconsistently walked around my yard and down my driveway the past few years, at my low point (4 months ago) I was doing nothing and growing weaker by the day. I can now easily walk with walking sticks, by myself, 1000-1500 steps down our driveway, and I'm confident that will increase. 

      8. Spiritual Life: I saved the best for last, because it is the basis for all the other healing. Though I had continued to read my Bible and pray daily, I confess my reading was perfunctory rather than thoughtful, as were my prayers. In thinking I had to find the answers for my illness, I had ceased trusting God and begun trusting in my own intellect and ability. I had made an idol of myself and my mind. I would have been the first to tell you idolatry is a sin and I certainly knew the very first commandment was, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." I was living in my flesh, though, and my prayers, my thoughts, and my actions were focused on making my flesh feel better. When I let go of the necessity to "heal myself" through earthly means, then God could begin His ever-so-much-more effective work of healing my Spirit and then my body. I had actually done another brain-rewiring program several years ago. I knew that something was missing in it, and though it helped me in some small ways, it was not lasting, because it addressed only my mind, not my spirit, not including any prayer or Bible study. 

      Remember above when I mentioned the Entrances that inevitably follow most Exits? We all have many times in life when we have the choice to exit one place/thing/situation in order to enter into another. I'm writing this today because someone encouraged me to exit my mindset of illness and enter into a new and better life, aware of walking with Jesus by my side "in green pastures" as well as "through the valley of the shadow of death." (Psalm 23) I'm sure it's no accident that one of our first LSR memory verses was from Philippians 3:13-14:

"... forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  (KJV)

     And there's one Exit I can anticipate more than any other, because the Entrance plan was laid before the foundation of the earth. Thanks be to God for the assurance I have that my sins have been washed away, and I am made white as snow. I am now clothed in the righteousness of the Babe Who came in a humble manger in Bethlehem (Luke 2), lived a blameless life (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), then gave that perfect life on a bloody cross (Matthew 27, Mark 14-16, Luke 22-24, John 18-21), so that you and I might enter into the presence of God our Father, Creator of us all. From there, there will be no more exits!

      Praise Him with me: https://youtu.be/XnrhfeuB3Kw?si=pGTVocnhnaOvl7aF

    "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

Shining in Darkness

Photo: Bill Tippett

"The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.”

(Matthew 4:16 NIV)

      Have you noticed how much better you can see the lights in a night sky when it's really dark? Away from city lights, your own security lights, even the moon? I'll never forget how the night sky seemed close enough to touch when I was camping at the bottom of the Grand Canyon: I had no idea how many stars could be seen from Earth! And don't you love to turn out all the lights in your house and turn on the lights of your Christmas tree or light your Hanukkah candles? SO much more brilliant and warming! The photo above was taken by Bill some twenty years ago when geomagnetic storms were at a rare peak. Though we live in a rural area-- no streetlights or even other houses around us-- we do have a security light, which had to be turned off for the breathtaking sighting of this magnificent aurora borealis here in central North Carolina. (NOTE: We're entering another peak sunspot cycle, so keep an eye to the sky the upcoming months! You can receive alerts, in fact, from spaceweather.com.)

      This morning I awoke early in darkness, both literal and spiritual. I know you know what I mean: the Enemy seems to pounce on and magnify every dark thought, and any little (or big) adverse circumstance seems overwhelming. I knew my best antidotes, though, were right at hand, as I've been using them on a regular basis as of late. I cried out to God in prayer, turned to His Word, and then praised Him in joyous song. And soon His Light shone through my gloom and my tears turned into smiles. No circumstance had changed, but by focusing my thoughts on the Creator of Light, I began to see that Light in the darkness. Isn't it interesting that scientifically speaking, it is impossible for darkness to overcome light, but one tiny light can be seen in utter darkness?

 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  

(John 1:5 NIV)

      I highlighted security intentionally above, because I've been thinking a lot lately about the many times I've found my security somewhere other than God: a friend, the internet, and most of all my own strength or mind. If there's a lesson I've learned glaringly through my time of trials, it's that I am NOT sufficient in my own strength-- either of body or of mind. But I have come to understand, instead, I must depend solely on my all-sufficient Savior to guide me, to calm my fears, and most of all to love me unconditionally. Though this truth is all over His Word, it was thanks to several other fellow sojourners that I was pointed in the right direction. Thank heavens they were shining His Light! 

      Yesterday we celebrated my granddaughter's eighth birthday, and I decided the time was right to pass on to her a star sapphire necklace and earrings my parents had given me as a teen. When she opened the box, she saw the pretty blue stones, but could not see the stars until I put them directly under a lamp. I later thought, what a lesson I need to share with Adalyn: we can't possibly shine the Light of His Love on others until we ourselves are directly in His light! 

    And so, dear reader, in this Season of Light, at a time when darkness seems to overwhelm our world, will you join me in shining your light, no matter how seemingly small, by telling someone about the Light of the World? He is waiting to pierce the gloom that surrounds us, and His Light will never be overcome! But we must stay in direct line with Him, through prayer, through praise, and through His Word, in order to shine for Him!

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."”

(John 8:12 NIV)

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️

NOTE: My top praise playlist:

               "I Speak Jesus" by Charity Gayle

               "Who You Say I Am" by Shane & Shane

               "Evidence" by Josh Baldwin

               "Psalm 34" by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir

               "Thou, O Lord" by the Brooklyn Tabernacle  

      

     

A Steak, Green Beans, and Mashed Potatoes

Enjoying the leftovers today at home!

   

   As the saying goes, "The third time's the charm!" Sweet Bill had made reservations three times for us to celebrate our 25th and 26th wedding anniversaries together. We hardly acknowledged the 25th last year, perhaps the most difficult year of my physical challenges, which of course impacted both of us greatly. Years before, I'm sure we had imagined some grand travel experience to mark the milestone, but thanks to Bible and Christ-centered brain rewiring, we had every hope of marking the occasion in some less grandiose, yet special way this year. 

      Bill made reservations at a nearby restaurant we had been wanting to try for at least 5 years. Our friends had been raving about the quality of the food, and it was only a half-hour from home-- perfect! The first two attempts, my body simply refused. Last night, the third try-- SUCCESS!!! I rested all day, stayed calm even though excited, and finally visualized the whole evening, from getting dressed, to driving to the quaint nearby town, to sitting down, ordering, and eating. Even though I still had no appetite, I pictured a mouthwatering meal of juicy steak, crispy sauteed green beans, and buttery mashed potatoes with bits of red skin and lumps, just the way I liked them. 

      I can't say I was without anxiety, as I felt a bit of internal pressure to enjoy this new experience. I even entertained a fleeting thought of canceling one more time, but I immediately rejected the idea with a favorite Bible verse and hymn (Philippians 4:13 and "Leaning On the Everlasting Arms"). As I bathed and dressed, and even curled my hair and dusted on a bit of makeup, I reminded myself that taking the first step, and then one after another, was all that was required to get me to my goal. 

      Departure time came, and I took a few calming breaths, got in the car shaky but smiling, and sang a praise song or two on the way. Many of the darling Victorians of Mount Pleasant were already adorned for Christmas with colorful twinkling lights, and I relaxed more and more the closer we got. On this foggy, damp night we found the perfect parking spot right outside the rear entrance, and I drew in another deep breath with a smile. Though I had brought my trusty walking sticks for security, on a whim and with my determined head held high, I emerged from the car and told Bill, "I'm walking in on your strong arm and I'll be fine!" And so it was. 

     We were seated in a beautiful room of gleaming wood, shining windows, and a stone fireplace, made all the more cheery by a lighted Christmas tree and some nostalgic decorations. Our server quickly brought us heavy leather menus, but I was in no hurry to open mine. I just kept smiling across the table at Bill, saying "We did it! We're really here, and it's perfect!" After relishing simply being in a new and interesting public place, of course I did soon open my menu, and it only took seconds for my eyes to fall on the top of the page, which read "Mt. Pleasant Sirloin." Across the page, as if lit with a beam from heaven, I read the list of "Sides:" sauteed green beans and mashed red skin potatoes were the first two! I nearly wept as I explained to Bill, almost breathless, about my visualization. And believe me, the reality of the food was delicious far beyond my imagining. I don't know how many times during our meal I repeated my declaration: I am happy and healthy, calm and strong, a beloved, RADIANT daughter of the King!"

     Needless to say, I beamed in competition with the Christmas lights the rest of the evening, and I'm still smiling this morning. Some call these "God winks;" others will say it's mere coincidence. I KNOW this meal was my God assuring me of the truth of my declaration, and this blog is my humble way of thanking Him, and hopefully encouraging someone else on this up and down, twisting, wonderful journey of life! 

"Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

(Psalm 37:4 KJV)

 "He must increase and I must decrease."

John 3:30

 ✝️