I love word games. Some of my fondest "Daddy memories" focus on sitting in the morning sun at the lake, Daddy in his recliner, me on the couch adjacent, while he tossed crossword puzzle clues to me, then passed me the newspaper to try to finish after he gave up. But my favorite challenge was always the "Jumble" -- trying to make as many words as possible from one group of letters. Daddy's no longer with me, but my current obsession has become "Word Trip," an electronic version of the game found conveniently on my phone.
I'm sure the letters above have appeared at some point in the thousands of puzzles I've completed! For many of the past months it was the first one that described my state of mind. I dreaded getting up in the morning, because who knew what the day would bring: a roiling belly, excruciating nerve pain, weakness so severe I needed help getting around the house, fatigue so extreme talking on the phone was out of the question, a brain so foggy I couldn't read a book. I even dreaded having to move from my recliner to bed at night, because by the time I got in bed my heart was racing with the effort of moving and brushing my teeth. And no one could promise me it would get better. I took comfort in reading a short Psalm or simply listening to praise music. I felt like Solomon: "....Absolute futility. Everything is futile." And "All things are wearisome, more than anyone can say...." (Ecclesiastes 1:2, 8 CSB)
Nevertheless, as I read over and over Psalms such as 9, 27, 28, 34, 57, 91, 138, 139, the words gradually became belief in me. My wonderful, faith-filled doctors' messages of hope began to sink in, but I think it was the day Dr. Scheer asked me if I had been going to church that started those letters moving around. I had to tell him "No, but I've been worshiping at home." "I'm praying for you, he said." And somehow, the next Wednesday night I made myself go. Oh, there's nothing like fellowship with true believers to nourish the soul and strengthen the body! I left with the biggest smile I had had in a long time, and determined to try to make it each Wednesday thereafter. I haven't succeeded every week, but most of them. And slowly, slowly the DREAD has fallen away. I look forward to the day when I can look back and say, "I am living life fully because I DARED to overcome."
"Haven't I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord Your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 CSB)
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another -- all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)
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