Giving Up My Idols

My Filthy Rags

 

     I used to enjoy watching "American Idol" on television, although I always said, "I just don't like the term "Idol." Pretty short-sighted of me, when I was surrounding myself with my own idols of various sorts: my "To Do" list, material things, knowledge, beauty, the joy of entertaining in my home, recognition for my own accomplishments, even the "good things" I did at church. Probably the first three years of chronic illness I idolized health and physical ability, spending a huge percentage of my time trying to figure out what was wrong with me and how I could get over it. (I am definitely NOT saying striving for health, purpose, doing good, or loving others are bad things, but making health and strength the be-all and end-all of my existence was anything BUT healthy!) In itself, each of these things (and you can think of more) is not a bad goal. But it's when any one or combination of them becomes an obsession that we're in trouble. Dictionary.com defines an obsession this way: "the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc." (emphasis mine).

      Believe me, from the beginning of this journey, I have had friends, family, and doctors who constantly tried to point me in the right direction, through persistent prayers, encouraging cards, texts, conversations, any way possible to give me hope. I've accepted and appreciated every one. Yet yesterday, after nearly four years, I was able to say honestly to a dear and faithful friend, "I am FINALLY truly able to thank God not only for the good days or even hours, but also for the pain, because I have grown so much closer to HIM, most of all in the painful days, the days when I had nothing left but Him!" I used to think, "What good am I? What is this accomplishing?" But slowly I realized that throughout my life accomplishment had become my idol and pride my greatest sin.

 As the prophet Isaiah put it, 

"All of us have become like one who is unclean,

    and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;

we all shrivel up like a leaf,

    and like the wind our sins sweep us away."

(Isaiah 64:6 NIV)

      I just read in today's entry in Streams in the Desert about someone observing the inner workings of a trolley's power plant. The observer asked, "How do they make the power?" The answer: " ...by the revolution of those wheels and the friction they produce. The rubbing creates the electric current." Oh my! I feel the current of God rushing through my body, mind, and soul even as I type the words! Through this friction of pain and disability He has made me ever more aware of His constant presence within and beside me as I have never before experienced it! And so, with the apostle Paul, I say,

       "[F]or this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong."   (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NASB)

And with the Psalmist, 

"I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty, and find myself safe and saved." (Psalm 18:3 Msg)

 "He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30)

♱

Good Friday

   

  I look out at the river flowing by and see the water flowing from His pierced side. For you, for me. It's a sunny day here, but at that moment darkness covered the earth, because evil was still trying hard to win out. 

      "I thirst," He had said. Ironic, those words coming from the lips of the Living Water. But He had to take the bitter herbs offered to Him for us, after the pain of all those lashes, to drink to the dregs the punishment we all deserve and in His purity He didn't. And then it was finished, the price of sin paid for all time.

      But just to make sure, the soldier pierced His side, and out flowed that river of living water promised to the woman at the well, that "well of water springing up ... for eternal life." Mingled with the blood of the perfect Passover Lamb, it left His flawless side to spring up in our flawed selves. 

       What will we do with it? Our eternity depends on that one choice! ✝️ 

      "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

The Gift of Love

       

A lap full of love.

   

      I awoke at 3 A.M. with burning flesh, rose, and went to my place of comfort -- my recliner in the living room. I looked toward the picture window to find the star which always resides somewhere near the upper right corner during these hours. Sometimes it sparkles like a diamond when the sky is blackest; sometimes it's muted by a veil of fog; sometimes it's totally obscured by thick clouds. I thought, "How like God's presence, shining in my life in varying degrees, depending on how clear the atmosphere is!" And then I thought, "But I know He always loves me."  I know it with my head if I don't always feel it with my heart. But whose fault is that?

      And then my hand unconsciously reached for the soft creature beside me. Copper seems always to lean into my touch, as if reveling in it. Our previous dog, Poppy, was aloof as a cat can be. Bill and I both loved her dearly, and tried showing her by not only taking care of her needs, but with caresses and soft words, too. Her response, however, was usually to turn away or even growl, or worst, get up and walk away. As much as we loved that dog, we had no idea what we were missing until Copper came along and actually enjoyed our affection. This 70-pound "cream puff" as Bill has aptly dubbed him, thinks nothing of taking a running leap onto our laps to bestow kisses and nuzzles on the lucky recipient. He loves to be petted, cuddled, talked to as if he is understanding every gooey word, and he returns our acts of affection with moans, wallows of delight, and his own "goo-goo eyes"! 

      Then I began to think of people I love, and I realized something: there are people I truly have loved and admired, yet no matter how much I poured my love into them there's an invisible wall they've thrown up that won't let them RECEIVE the fulness of my feelings. I can do nothing to tear down this wall, and so they are perhaps missing the full blessing of being loved, as I am missing the blessing of having my love received. Notice I didn't say "returned." I'm not sure you could say Copper actually gives us love. His gift to us is receiving our love!

      I am beginning to realize that, conversely, there have been people in my life who tried to give me love, and I was the one building walls and refusing that love. I wonder what amazing relationships I may have missed out on by rejecting someone's love, freely given, nothing required in return? And did they miss my receiving of their gift? I wonder how God feels when so many of His children simply refuse the love He so freely offers, asking nothing in return? Think about it: how do you feel when you pour love into another and it doesn't seem even to be noticed, like the proverbial water off a duck's back?

      Oh my friend, consider this: God, Creator of the Universe, has absolutely everything He needs! The whole creation is His! He doesn't need us; He just loves us! He created us for fellowship, communion with Him-- that's all! I've always liked the Greek koinonia because it incorporates the broad scope of the concept of fellowship. According to biblestudytools.com,

"the nature of koinonia... depicts an interactive relationship between God and believers who are sharing new life through Christ. The Greek word captures the entirety of this relationship. It involves active participation in Christian community: sharing in spiritual blessings and giving material blessings." (emphasis mine)

      Saturday, March 27, 2021, is the beginning of Passover, the commemoration of the time the captive Jews were spared from slavery and death in Egypt by the blood of a lamb spread over their doorposts. The culmination of this week of fasting and feasting is Sunday, April 4, Easter Sunday, or more appropriately Resurrection Sunday, which marks the day the ultimate Passover Lamb conquered death for us all for all time by rising from His grave to take His rightful place at the right hand of God the Father. It was Our Father's ultimate gift of love. Will we delight Him by accepting it?

  "We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. 

We write this to make our joy complete.

 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 

If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." (1 John 1:3-7 NIV)

"He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30) ♱ IMPORTANT: If you have never accepted the gift of God's love, don't wait another minute, because we aren't guaranteed the next breath. Pray this prayer: Dear Lord, I know that I am a sinner, no matter how "good" I might appear. I could never be perfect enough to spend eternity in Your Holy Presence, no matter how hard I try. I know that the only way I will spend eternity with You is through the blood of Messiah Jesus, the only Perfect Lamb and Your only Son. I ask you now to forgive my every sin and help me turn away from all unrighteousness so that from this moment on I will live for You and by Your grace. Now by the presence of Your Holy Spirit in me, help me to live according to Your will, filled with Your light and love, growing closer to You every day by studying Your Word and fellowshipping with other believers.                                       In the name of Jesus my Savior,                                                         Amen If you just prayed this prayer in sincerity, there's a celebration happening in Heaven right now in your honor! Go and share the news with a pastor or friend, or message me, so others can share in the celebration and pray for you as you begin the most exciting adventure of your life!

 

Morning Grace

     

       I love to watch morning arrive, especially in winter. It sneaks in almost unnoticed, as stars slowly give up their brilliance, and just as gently the silhouettes of naked trees appear like silent ink-strokes of the Master Artist against the slowly bluing sky. The day comes in gradually, not like a lightning flash harsh and shattering, until the moment when I realize the world is once again visible, rest is over, and activity begins. 

      In every season the river birch outside my front window is as graceful as a prima ballerina, but somehow it's more striking when it's stripped bare of its soft green leaves. Isn't that the way of with life? When we've been stripped bare of all the frills we add without thinking-- endless activity requiring a varied wardrobe, gallons of fuel, countless hours spent running to and fro, attention to appearances for what?-- maybe that's when grace shows up, silently and without flourish. Maybe that's when we truly get to know ourselves and our Maker, discover our purpose.

      That's certainly how grace dawns on me. I know it's been there all along, like the tree branches that didn't disappear at night just because I couldn't see them. God's unmerited favor has been there for you and for me since the beginning of time. He ordained it for all of us, all humankind whom He created simply to have fellowship with Him. ["Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness.'" Genesis 1:26 CSB]

      Why that perfect fellowship wasn't enough for Adam and Eve I'll never understand, but I certainly experience the consequences of their poor choice by continuing in my own rebellious nature. How can I be so blind to His grace, which is so obvious every day in my life? I have no idea. It begins just two verses later: "God blessed them...."  [Genesis 1:28 CSB] Like the tree which does nothing on its own to "deserve" to be there and give beauty and shade to all who gaze on it, grace is not something I can earn. God sends the sunshine and rain on the tree, even though it can't get up and walk around "doing something" to earn what it needs for its very existence. 

      At this late stage in life, I think I am truly coming to grasp just how great is God's grace to give me each new day simply to enjoy this beautiful but broken world and even more importantly to fellowship with Him. I know I will have eternity to experience an even closer walk with Him, but my eternity will be richer for each day I'm allowed to walk this miraculous planet with my fellow creatures. Let us never forget that this Lenten season commemorates God's greatest display of His grace to us: He came to this earth which He created perfect in every way but which we broke with our sin; He gave up His heavenly home to become a frail human like us and have His body broken by our sin, then died in the cruelest way possible, the perfect sacrifice for ALL our sins. But the story doesn't end there: after three days in the grave He rose again so that we could join Him as originally intended, in perfect fellowship for eternity!

"He was in the world, and the world was created through Him, and yet the world did not recognize Him. He came to His own, and His own people did not receive Him. But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name...." [John 1:10-12 CSB]

      I pray that everyone reading this has accepted that gift, turned away from sin, and is living in that unfathomable grace. If not, may today be the day, because I want to meet you all at our Savior's feet! 💗

NOTE: During this Lenten season, and simply to learn more about Jesus and feel closer to Him, I highly recommend reading the Gospel of John, written by the one called "the beloved disciple," who was closer to Jesus than a brother.

 "He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30)

♱

Making Rainbows

       

      There's a crystal ball (not the fortune-telling kind!) hanging in the bay window at the lake. I think I gave it to my mother after purchasing it on one of my first trips to St.Thomas, so it's probably hung there 30 years or so. I love sitting in my comfy chair in the morning, drinking my coffee and spending time with God, and on sunny days watching the rainbows appear in the room around me, on floor, walls, furniture. But last week I happened to look up and notice them splayed across the ceiling. I've delighted in them often, but after a string of cloudy days their brightness struck me especially, as they seemed to shimmer with a light of their own. Of course I knew the source of their light was over my shoulder, and so brilliant that I shouldn't look at it directly, but I began thinking about what it took to make those rainbows. In fact, just about then a cloud passing between the source and the crystal momentarily made the rainbows fade. They reappeared after the cloud passed, but eventually, the sun rose so high that the rainbows disappeared until the next day when the sun shone through the crystal again.

      I took down the crystal and began to examine it and think about just what it took to make those little rainbows I enjoyed so much. Crystals form from a combination of heat and pressure acting on naturally-occurring chemicals in the earth. Then they are mined, just like diamonds (which are really a particular type of crystal). They are often left natural for use in healing or ornamentation, but my crystal ball had been precisely cut and polished (like a diamond) to give it the many facets which produced the rainbows I was enjoying. This crystal had been through a lot in order to give me so much pleasure!

      How like God to teach us such a lesson in the things we often take for granted! When I think of the people who have shone brightest in my life, I know that their brightness came at a cost. 

      (1) Like that crystal heated and pressed in the earth, then cut and polished by a master gemologist, the pressure of adversity makes us resilient.

      (2) The cutting away of all that's not beautiful by the Master Creator of us all, painful though it may be, makes us send out His brilliance in a myriad of colors upon all we encounter. 

      (3) The higher the position of the Son in our lives, the more brilliantly we shine, until He reaches His apex and shines so brilliantly there's no need for rainbows, because the Source is our focus.

"For we are not proclaiming ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of God’s glory in the face of Jesus Christ. Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be displayed in our body. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’s sake, so that Jesus’s life may also be displayed in our mortal flesh. So then, death is at work in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith in keeping with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak. For we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you. Indeed, everything is for your benefit so that, as grace extends through more and more people, it may cause thanksgiving to increase to the glory of God. Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

(2 Corinthians 4:5-18 CSB)

And,

"No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it give light for all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." 

(Matthew 5:15-16 CSB)

      I can't help thinking what I've been missing by not looking UP! 💗

A rainbow of rainbows on my ceiling!

                             

 "He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30)

♱

                                                                    

Giving Up

       "I give up!" How many times in my seventy-three years Have I said it? More than a handful recently, I confess. But yesterday-- I can't tell you why-- the familiar words took on a new meaning. I suddenly saw myself throwing my hands up in the air in the common gesture and stopped. Freeze frame. Just moments before I had made the very same motion as a sudden unexpected snow began to fall outside my window like a surprise shower of manna falling from heaven onto a hungry earth. Like a child, I ran from window to window-- I'm sure my face was glowing-- shouting to no one, "It's snowing, it's snowing!" And my heart was praising God for this sweet blessing. But as I sat down after the quick shower had passed, I was back in my dark place, engulfed by the pain and sadness. It struck me then, and the thought wouldn't let go of me (Thank You, Holy Spirit!): giving up was exactly what I needed to do with each pain, each negative, self-pitying thought. 

      And so, as my day went on, I made a conscious effort to "take every thought captive to obey Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5) Instead of giving in to the pain that inevitably came, I stopped, I metaphorically lifted it in my hands and gave it to Jesus, the Great Physician, the One Who has told me again and again, 

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  (Matthew 11:28-30 CSB)

      And you know what? My day was better than the many preceding ones, because I realized that when my hands were raised in surrender to my pain how easy it was to turn that pain into praise: praise that I have sensation rather than no feeling at all, praise that my body is working better than it was three years ago, praise that I have a wonderful husband who loves me by providing for all my needs and caring for me when I can't care for myself, praise that I have family and friends who accept me even though I am not the energetic, hospitable person I once was, praise that my God loves me even though I can't serve Him like I would like to and once did.

      Whatever your burden or challenge, my friend-- physical, emotional, the state of the world, family struggles-- God has told us in the longest love letter ever written, His Word, He never meant for us to bear it alone, we CAN'T bear it alone! The hard part for me-- what's in bold in the verse below-- the releasing, the letting go, the "giving up" if you will. 

"Cast your burden on the LORD [release it] and He will sustain and uphold you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (slip, fall, fail)." (Psalm 55:22 AMP)

You may wonder why it took so long for this Truth to sink into my soul. Perhaps because I'm such a visual learner, it took that vision of my own hands, raised so often in a plea to be released from my prison of pain, becoming a vision of Praise. As the shepherd, king, and psalmist David, the "man after God's own heart" put it:

"May my prayer be set before You like incense, my uplifted hands like the evening offering." (Psalm 141:2 BSB)

  

 "He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30)

♱

Fear -- NOT!

     

  "Do not tremble; do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim my purposes for you long ago? You are my witnesses—is there any other God? No! There is no other Rock—not one!” Isaiah 44:8

      I woke up this morning with heart racing. I had been awakened from an anxiety-filled dream by the sound of gunshots-- not at all uncommon in our rural setting. We are surrounded by woods beloved by hunters for their abundance of deer and wild turkeys, and plenty of our neighbors hunt to supply their families with meat. I couldn't do it myself, but I don't object to the practice-- it's as old as humanity, after all, and probably far healthier than the neatly packaged store-bought meat my tastebuds prefer.

      It took some time, however, to slow my racing heartbeat-- one of the complications of my strange illness. Then I began to think over the past few days, weeks, months, years-- not always a good thing, this looking back, yet sometimes we can learn from it. I began to realize that fear has been my pervasive state of mind for far too long, pretty much the 3 1/2 years I have been ill. It may be understandable, yes, considering I have no idea from moment to moment how my body will react to anything or nothing at all, and even worse I don't know why this happens or what to do about it. Will I be able to perform a task I've been looking forward to? Will I be sick afterward if I do? Will I be able to carry out a plan I've made to see family, friend, even doctor, or will my body simply say, "Nope, not today!"? Will I be able to eat, to walk around the yard for a few minutes of fresh air and sunshine? I will only know once I struggle out of my recliner and see how wobbly my legs are today. There's so little left of "me" that sometimes I feel all I can do is cling to the one thing that's become most familiar and dependable-- FEAR.

      But then I looked to my left and saw the beautiful prayer cloth made by a sweet friend way back in this journey: "'Don't be afraid. Just believe.' Mark 5:36" Honestly, my first thought was, "Right! How am I supposed to do that after all this time?" But then the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear, "Look in my Word," so I reached down beside me and picked up my Bible and began searching for the numerous passages saying "Fear not." A quick search told me those exact words appear in the King James Bible 170 times. Could Father God be telling us something? In modern lingo, I told myself, "Ya' think?" and "Well, DUH!"

      The first occurrence of the phrase is in Genesis 15:1, when God told Abram (later, Abraham), "Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward." With the help of his servants Abram had just rescued his nephew Lot from the clutches of some powerful and evil kings from neighboring territories. We have no indication that Abram hesitated or had the least trepidation about taking on these much more powerful armies in order to save his relative. Yet after the humble herdsman had courageously stepped up, God not only told him not to be afraid, He promised the elderly Abram that he would father a great nation. If you've accepted Messiah Jesus as your Savior, my friend, you have been grafted into that very nation! (See April 8 post, "Jeopardy -- Justified")

      Time and time again God's Word encourages us to step out in spite of fear. How many different nations did Joshua conquer with Israel's small army guided by the hand of the Lord? I can see poor David now-- the boy who had slain the giant-- cowering in caves for fear of King Saul, even after he had been anointed to be the next king (See 1 Samuel 24). Yet David believed God, and when the time was right, he took the throne.  Think of the "Fear nots" associated with Jesus' birth: Elizabeth, Joseph, Mary, the shepherds. 

      When I examine the things I fear, they are barely a blip on anyone's radar in comparison with the history-changing examples above. And yet, our Father comforts me and you, my friend, in our personal everyday struggles, if only we will listen:

     "Even if an army gathers against me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if war rises against me, I will be sure of You."  (Psalm 27:3 NLV)

"For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear. Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father!'"  (Romans 8:15 CSB)

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  (1 John 4:18 NIV)

And finally, like John in his vision on Patmos, imagine when we see our Lord face to face:

"When I saw him, I fell at his feet like a dead man. He laid his right hand on me and said, “Don’t be afraid. I am the First and the Last...." (Revelation 1:17 CSB)

       Whatever your fears or mine, dear reader, whether they be the state of the world, a deadly virus, or our own personal struggles, I don't intend to minimize the seriousness of all these issues. Let us remember, however,  these assurances from the God of the Universe that fear is not His will for us. As we take down our 2020 calendars and open the door on 2021, let our uppermost thought be, 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  (Isaiah 41:10 ESV)

 "He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30)

♱