Throughout my life it seems I've always carried excess baggage: HUGE purse filled with all those "just in case" necessities, the biggest suitcase AND carry-on allowed on the plane, "sentimental stuff" tucked into any nook and cranny in my attic. I've just realized, though, that chronic illness has suddenly changed all that. I carry the smallest purse possible, and my list of necessities has shrunk to almost nothing. Though I'm not really traveling, when I pack for a few days at the lake, I find each trip I carry less and less with me. I've learned what I can get by with, or more importantly WITHOUT. I find myself thinking more about cleaning out closets than about shopping for new clothes or shoes, about what I can give away rather than acquire. But slowly, slowly, I'm beginning to accept, and even embrace the freedom of less. I can survive and even grow stronger on less elaborate meals, keep my body covered with LOTS fewer changes of clothes, and most importantly grow closer to God with less "activity."
I'm realizing of late that what I've really let go of are all the "shoulds." I've pretty much always been motivated by what I thought I "should" be "doing." I've come to realize, however, that these were expectations I put on myself rather than anyone else's expectations of me. Just as I can't earn my salvation by any works, I can't earn any human being's love by doing more for them. Not that it's not rewarding to sacrifice for someone else, but it is not the sacrifice that makes another person love me, but rather who I am. And you know what? That hasn't changed just because of my circumstances. I am still the Charlanne my Heavenly Father "Knit together in my mother's womb,.... made in secret,... formed in the depths of the earth." (Psalm 139:13,15 CSB) He loves me no matter what I do or don't do!
And you know what? By "doing" less I have MORE: time to write a note of encouragement or make a phone call of concern, money to give to help others, time to enjoy the beauty of the world that's right around me (a sunset, a moonrise, a tree swaying in the breeze, blossoms emerging in Spring), time to spend quietly with my Lord and Savior, studying His Word, simply adoring Him and reveling in His love for me.
Our new pup, Copper, just gave us the perfect illustration this morning: when Bill opened the bedroom door and came into the living room where Copper was sleeping, without even opening his eyes, Copper began to wag his tail (his love language). Bill was creeping quietly so as not to disturb him, not turning on any lights or making a sound, yet his mere presence made that sweet dog happy. Friend, that's all we have to do to please God-- open the door and receive His love, poured out freely, at no cost to us, then delight in His delight in us!
“Consider how the wildflowers grow: They don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these." Luke 12:27 CSB)
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| Happy at his master's feet! |
"He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30) ♱ |
So very true mama! I do love you so very much!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, dear daughter! I love you more! :-)
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