Autumn Angst

      

The blueberries are hinting at autumn!

      Does anyone else have Autumn Angst? It descended on me today, or perhaps it blew in with that brisk and chilly wind that came in the night and lingers this morning. I suppose it's related to Spring Fever, yet it seems different somehow. Yes, it's a restlessness, like Spring Fever, but feels a bit more invigorating and urgent. For me, Spring Fever is almost a relief after the darkness and cold of winter, a sort of sigh that hints of long summer days to come, when stronger sun rays wake the earth from her sleep to bring forth her bounty of blooms, and life itself seems to blossom into fullness and celebration.

      In contrast, the first days of autumn I feel a nudging to get things done quickly.  Perhaps it's the thought that another year will soon draw to a close. Or maybe like the squirrel gathering fallen acorns for her winter's store, I feel a need to gather my stores, fill my pantry and freezer, bake up a storm, before the closed-in days and long, dark nights of winter make me want to hibernate just like the bear! Today I want to go to a nearby farm and discover the perfect pumpkins and chrysanthemums to bring a final splash of color to my fading flower garden.

      How metaphoric of life itself! In the Springtime of youth we never give a thought to how quickly time will fly into the Autumn and Winter of our lives. Each day is so full of living in the moment. Like Solomon we say, "There is nothing better for a person than to eat, drink, and enjoy his work." (Ecclesiastes 2:24 CSB) Until the day comes when we are faced with our own frailty and the awareness of how short life truly is. Sometimes it sneaks in gradually; sometimes it comes like an unexpected cloudburst. 

      But just like the Fall will surely follow the Summer, and Winter the Fall, time passes and life changes. And change is hard, I confess, especially this change in my body and mind from autumn into winter. I can't help wondering if, when I meet my Savior, I will feel my work is done. Will rich fruit be found in the path I leave behind, like the huge acorns and persimmons raining down today from the tall trees in my yard? Will I hear the words "Well done, good and faithful servant?"

      At this bittersweet time of transition in the earth, I think I shall try to embrace with grace the change in my own seasons. As wise King Solomon expressed it,

"There is an occasion for everything,

and a time for every activity under heaven:

a time to give birth and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot;

a time to kill and a time to heal;

a time to tear down and a time to build;

a time to weep and a time to dance...."

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 CSB)

 ♱

 "He must increase, but I must decrease"  (John 3:30)