I stepped into the shower and heard "clunk" right behind me-- not unusual considering the array of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash spread out along the edge of the tub. Eyes closed, as I began to wet my hair I suddenly smelled the sweet aroma of my favorite "happy" body wash. I looked down to see the seldom-used plastic bottle topless and spilling out its precious golden contents, which were running quickly toward the drain. "Noooo!" I cried and the tears came, mingling with the warm water flowing over me. I sobbed as I scooped up what remained in the broken red container, then grabbed my net body scrubber to wipe up what was left on the bottom of the tub. "May as well use what I can, even if I am the only one who will enjoy the glorious fragrance of hyacinth and wisteria!" The sobs came harder as I grew angry with myself for being so silly about spilled soap, while what I was really feeling was frustration over the wasteland I saw as I looked at my life right now-- broken and running down the drain.
Not long ago I had confessed to my son who is a pastor that my faith was flagging, because I feel so purposeless. He was quick to remind me, "If you're here your purpose remains the same and there IS something you can do. 'What is the chief end of man? Glorify God and enjoy Him forever.'" [From The Westminster Shorter Catechism; Romans 11:36, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Psalm 73:25-26] Of course, God already knew my frustration, and I haven't hesitated to express it to Him on more than one occasion! Then, engulfed in my favorite fragrance, the Spirit reminded me of my favorite quote from my long-time favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert by Mrs.Charles E. Cowman: "Dear Lord, abide with us that we May draw our perfume fresh from Thee." (emphasis mine) As usual, I've been looking too much inward, depending on my own abilities instead of relying totally on Him!